theres nothing more painful than seeing or picturing something you've never want to picture. hey, let go, he said, let go, she did. well, thats what i get for being a dumbass. she might have been the best thing that have ever happened to me and i screwed it up badly.

cold kitchen is done and im going for western tomorrow. the first day i entered the cold kitchen, i hated it so much, as i progressed through the week, i was starting to like the cold kitchen on how they prepare their mise en place (meaning preparing the ingredients before making it, just like setting up a table before the guest comes to dine). the presentation, the everything.

getting to know almost everyone is amazing. the some sort of love hate relationship found in the kitchen is intense as you will most definately come across people you would never even think of meeting. some have their bad sides, the others pure culinarians but the most of all, each and everyone of them has talent and passion about their work. the only problem is, is culinary the thing for me? i wouldnt mind working now as i have gotten used to it so quickly. meeting new people and learning alot more than college.

sometimes life brings you to places you've never dreamed of. maybe thats why i am in this line of work. maybe thats why i am doing what i am doing and including the past.

how would you picture you're self when you're the third wheel? would you feel honoured? would you feel proud? would you feel happy? would you feel worried? all the feelings in the world cant explain what i went through. because i, myself cant explain it.

this whole experience for me, meeting new people, learning new things and so on would never be forgotten until the day someone digs a 6 ft hole for me. it's just amazing. especially the experience. i wouldnt mind training over and over and over again. as long as i get to meet people and learn things. it's just a fantastic feeling. i love culinary.

sigh, i miss my ex.
rick.